188050

Joke of the Day

"My wife does this cute thing. She sets her alarm clock an hour before she has to get up and then hits snooze 27 times. It's so adorable."

"What did the divers find the sunken Korean ferry had hit? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370"

"What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on a boy's face until hes 13"

"My neighbour has diabetes and now she won't make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me."

"Why do you put a fence around a graveyard? Because people are dying to get in!"

"A Facebook friend posted 8 pictures of himself fixing a lawnmower, so I drove over and shot him. It just felt like the right thing to do."

"Chris Eubank has written a book about Ethics He said if it sells well he will write one about Kent too."

"Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea ? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"In 1911: Dracula used to drink virgin girls blood ... In 2012: he died of hunger."

"Why'd the chicken cross the road Wtf Idk"