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Joke of the Day

"Pete and repeat are in a boat Pete and repeat are brothers. Pete falls overboard, who's left?"

"Did you hear about the hermit in the storm cloud? I heard the advice he gives is enlightning!"

"Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom."

"OK it's like sure, I've MURDERED before. Big deal. Sue me. It's not like I'm a MURDERER or anything. I only do it socially."

"Hiring manager: what would you say are your greatest weaknesses? Me: probably men with hairy knuckles. Oh, and a moist pot roast."

"Why don't tents have locks. Because black people don't go camping."

"Ancient people: turned grapes into wine, agave into tequila, and sugar cane into rum. Modern people: turn soy, rice, or almonds into milk."

"The failure of my business confounds me. It just doesn't make cents."

"I like long, romantic walks away from women that try catching the bouquet at weddings"

"What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite beer? Yeungling. He can kill off a 12-pack by himself."