187920

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real thing ? The picture of Jesus only takes one nail to hang up ."

"Why can't you tell when a pterodactyl is going to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent."

"Why did Dr Facilier cross the road? He had friends on the other side."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Carlene ! Carlene who ? Carlene against that wall ?"

"Having your 7 year old son clean the toilet is pretty entertaining. He used Pledge. In other news I just slid off the toilet, into the tub."

"Why do fencers love Reddit? Because of all the *ripostes*"

"What have Brussel sprouts and pubic hair got in common? You brush them both to the side and carry on eating."

"""Mom! Mom! Hold this cockroach while I grab the lizard!"" --Things I honestly never imagined I'd hear as a parent"

"Survival Tip: When flipping off your wife behind her back... Make sure she's not standing in front of a mirror."

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."