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Joke of the Day

"Having your 7 year old son clean the toilet is pretty entertaining. He used Pledge. In other news I just slid off the toilet, into the tub."

"a friend told me how electricity was measured and i was like watt"

"First off I want to commend you for taking part in credit counselling. Now, under assets you wrote ""like an onion"". Can you clarify?"

"One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth."

"Went to the doctors yesterday and was told I have to stop masturbating, Apparently it was upsetting the other people in the waiting room"

"The most feared killer whales are the ones that have done time in Seaworld."

"What did Helen Keller scream when she got mugged? Nothing. It was winter and she had mittens on."

"PRO TIP: Using a Starbucks cup to ask for change makes me think I'm worse off than you"

"Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit? A: Curly hare."

"So...A man walks into a bar and says... Ouch!"