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Joke of the Day

"Just thought about sex for the 100th time today, and let me tell you, it's definitely NOT the thought that counts."

"A blind man walks into a bar... ... and a table, and a chair, and a stool."

"One of my grandfather's favorites. What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor? ""Ptui"""

"What did my dad say after he asked for frozen casserole That's chili. E:dit Ok execution could be better. Any tips?"

"My friend can talk about auto-erotic asphyxiation til he's blue in the face."

"I bought a friend of mine an elephant for his room He said thanks. I said don't mention it."

"What do you call a friend who turns a wine glass into a candle holder? An acquaintance"

"Reenacting the Civil War seems like a lot of work. I'd much rather reenact the Cola War from my couch. First is the battle of Whiskey."

"If olive oil comes from olives where does baby oil come from?"

"I need help I've spent every waking moment of this year browsing reddit"