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Joke of the Day

"Long story short, I accidentally left the cat in the refrigerator."

"Shakespeare could see the future. He knew people would listen to only two types of music. Doobie or not Doobie."

"My husband just got to level three on netflix: ""faking an illness"" to finish binge watching I'm on level 6: ""faking your own abduction"""

"I bought a book yesterday: ""101 Uses For Binary"". However, when I got home I was very disappointed to find it only contained five."

"How do you tell your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits in your wife's clothes"

"Why are Americans bad at league of legends? Because they can't defend their towers!...i'm gonna get stabbed"

"Trying to tell a catholic a joke Me: What do monkeys and humans have in common? Catholic: Nothing............ nothing at all."

"*batman voice* Alfred, my bat-wang is stuck in my bat-zipper. Bat-help."

"You cant have crisis without ISIS"

"Just burned 2000 calories That's the last time I'll leave brownies in the oven while I nap"