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Joke of the Day

"How do you tell your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits in your wife's clothes"

"Dear math, stop telling me to find your X Their not coming back, grow up and solve your own problems"

"I'm not hungry but I'm going to eat these Oreos because they're there. Americans."

"What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays."

"so apparently there is no such thing as a valentine santa and i'm not sure whose lap i just sat on at the mall."

"What's the difference between Trump and Hitler? Hitler started out as a good guy."

"Beneath that furry exterior your cat has at least 6 neck tattoos."

"How can you tell if you're Canadian (Italian joke) Go to a cliff and yell ""Mangia"". If your echo says "" cake""...."

"If I could have dinner with anyone, dead and alive, it would definitely be Schrodinger's cat."

"I just saw a black guy driving a BMW and doing the speed limit. I'm following him until he pulls over b/c I know he has drugs in the car."