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Joke of the Day

"What the difference between... a dead dog in the road and a dead Frenchman in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog."

"Never knew why pajama tops had pockets on them, but I just filled mine up with cookies to bring back to bed and now it makes complete sense."

"What did Ash say when Pikachu went missing? ""Where did my Pokemon Go?"""

"I used to joke and tell people I had STDs after intercourse But I had to change it! So now I joke and say I don't have any before."

"I think comic book bad guys have the right idea, aiming their weapons directly at Captain America's shield. That's probably his weak point."

"Can a ninja throw a star? Shuriken"

"*slides $5 to the funeral director* Maybe you can get me the widow's phone number?"

"Hello? I'd like to rent one bouncey house, please. How many will be using it? Just one. Her age? Uh. Four........ty-seven."

"I watched the bonus features on a porn movie today. It just showed a woman crying in the shower, washing all the cum out of her hair."

"Guys I'm like next to Austria right now... Hungary, I could really go for a cheeseburger..."