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Joke of the Day

"I think comic book bad guys have the right idea, aiming their weapons directly at Captain America's shield. That's probably his weak point."

"Just changed my Facebook name to 'No one' So when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say 'No one likes this'"

"What has six eyes but can't see? Three blind mice."

"Never test the depth of the water with both feet."

"What do you say to a Female comedian who has just had a miscarriage? ""You should work on your delivery""."

"being a writer is a great job if you love looking at a blinking cursor and wishing you were dead."

"There is a company called Kia and a company called Nokia. I'm not sure who to believe."

"I hate reality shows. Like this one, for instance, called ""The News."""

"WHY IS THAT COTTON CANDY TALKING?! ""Grandma, that's Niki Minaj."""

"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."