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Joke of the Day

"The shortest distance between two points is always closed due to some bullshit construction that should've been finished a year ago."

"What is it called when Venom snake gets spotted doing something bad? Getting caught red handed!"

"It's so annoying when people make fun of what other people are wearing. Like yeah, this dress is a little tight, my legs are a little hairy, and my dick is hanging out but still!"

"What do you call a hillbilly giraffe that lives in a trailer and drinks beer all day? A rednnnnnneeeeeeeccccccccckkkkkk."

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Choked."

"If the opposite of impossible is Possible & the opposite of immature is Mature, you can conclude that i'm a very Portant person to some."

"My friend just joined ISIS I was always bothered by his Sunni disposition"

"What are the four hardest years of a police officer's life? The first grade."

"""Twilight"" is the timeless story of a girl who must choose between ripped abs or clingy dependency."

"Jokes I made up I might keep adding onto this if it gets popular enough :) Q: What did the man say while holding a square shaped clock? A: I'm holding Time Square!"