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Joke of the Day
"'I have a baby-sized dick' he said. He wasn't lying. 19 inches, 7.5 lbs."
Next Joke
"Ever since I became blind I never looked back... Or forward, or right, or left."
"I sometimes lie awake and wonder how much useful information I've left out of my brain to make room for these Hanson songs."
"What's hard, white, and 10 inches? Nothing."
"You're like a dream. Not there when I wake up."
"All the roles in Gravity were played by Martin Lawrence."
"Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father Luke: really? Darth Vader: yeah. Why? Luke: you have the voice of a heavyset black guy is all"
"So a man walks through airport security... Man: Knock knock. AS: Who's there? Man: Alla. AS: Alla who? Man: Alla who akbar."
"When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet? I say ""Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."""
"So I hear that the Euro is destabilizing and deflating... ...if its value decreases any more, Europe might have to switch back to their old international currency, Czechoslovakia."