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Joke of the Day

"Blonde in laundromat asks to have a sweater cleaned. Attendant : ""Come again ?"" ( not hearing ) Blonde: ""Nope, Just mustard this time"""

"I have never once hit a drink or treated one badly so don't tell me about alcohol abuse!"

"A Rabbi, a Priest and a Minister walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""Is this a Joke?"""

"Seriously, soup? If I wanted to drink my lunch I would go to a bar."

"""Who am I?"" she beckoned the stars. Stars: We've gone over this a million times. You are a geisha caveman."

"TIL the French flag is traditionally made with Velcro So they could remove the red and blue bits in times of war"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Buggy ! Buggy who ? Buggy Jean is not my lover !"

"A boy and a gorilla walk into a bar... The boy says ""first shot's on me"" The gorilla replies ""nah, I got this"""

"I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help."

"If by high maintenance you mean she looks like a stoned janitor, then yeah, she's high maintenance."