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Joke of the Day

"Blonde in laundromat asks to have a sweater cleaned. Attendant : ""Come again ?"" ( not hearing ) Blonde: ""Nope, Just mustard this time"""

"What's worse than finding a lobster on your piano? Finding crabs on your organ."

"What is a gay man's favorite vacation site? He loves to go to Bankok."

"I always wanted to know what it felt like to blow $85k So today I stood in front of Annex Hall and asked the first art major I saw."

"Do you ever look at teachers and think ""I could do that"" and then remember you hate kids?"

"Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame? Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared."

"Never drink water after eating fish !!! Your stomach might become an aquarium. PS not mine read it somewhere"

"Teacher: Fill out the parent form. Me: Why? Teacher: So I can contact you if your kid gets in trouble. Me: *writing* Raised. By. Wolves."

"It's so cool how avocados take forever to get ripe then they're ripe for about 15 minutes then they're rotten then I kill all these hostages"

"What's Darth Vader's sister's name? Elle Vader. *Badum tsssss*"