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Joke of the Day
"Refugees do the jobs no one wants to do. Like being a suicide bomber."
Next Joke
"When people go underwater in movies, I sometimes like to hold my breath and see if I would survive in that situation. I died in Finding Nemo"
"I came here to kick ass and chew gum... And I've got new, longer-lasting Stride, so we'll be here for a while."
"How do Ghosts lay foundations? With a spirit level!"
"Just been chatting to my neighbor's teenage daughter It turns out she's really into aliens and UFOs Which is cool because tommorow she's getting abducted"
"I've just started my own company called Flying Fuck Airlines. Judging from what I've seen here, it's going to be an outstanding success."
"Hitler arrives at the Pearly Gates... ...and says to St Peter, ""Sorry about the whole Jew thing."" St Peter replies, ""You did your best."""
"I lost my mood ring I really just don't know how to feel about it."
"Arnold Swarzeneggar pushup contest. Arnold Swarzeneggar challenged former President George W. Bush to a pushup contest, and the President accepted. Swarzeneggar did 910, But Bush did 911."
"My friend recently got crushed by books. He's got his shelf to blame."