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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee like I like my women Made by my mother."

"Finding Nemo 3: Nemo's mom isn't dead. Nemo's dad kidnapped Nemo to avoid a custody dispute. Nemo's mom finds them. It's a revenge tale."

"What do you call a cow that got hit by a car? moo-tilated."

"What is the difference between a Catholic and a Baptist? A catholic will say ""hello"" to you in the liquor store."

"What's the most important part of an ISIS joke? The execution."

"So what goes around comes around eh? Try saying that to my belt"

"It's way too early in the day for you to be yelling at me, repeating your demands, and making me follow you around, girl. It's over, Dora."

"I've never been put in the ""friend"" zone, but I have been put in the ""please don't tell my friend's"" zone."

"[Ouija board] GRANDMA WHERE IS YOUR COOKIE RECIPE"

"I was talking to a nice young women last night, she asked me if I like breast or legs. I told her what I really like is a nice shaved snatch. Apparently I'm not allowed in KFC anymore."