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Joke of the Day

"Therapist: Talk about your friends. Me: Now John at the bar is a friend of mine... T: That's a Billy Joel song. Me: You're no fun."

Next Joke
 
"Toy idea: Remote control car that you can sit in & control from the inside."
"teen son: 'cause the boyz n the hood are always hard /u come talkin that trash we'll pull your card mom: take out the trash & mow the yard."
"Pessimist : The glass is half empty Optimist : The glass is half full Feminist : The glass is being raped"
"What is the most popular vehicle in South America? They drive alpacars."
"I see dead people. No wait, I take that back. I see people I want dead."
"One idiot said to the other ""You know there are really only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't."
"What are the options? Air Hostess to passenger: ""Sir would you like to have dinner?"" Passenger: ""What are the options?"" Air Hostess: ""Yes and No."""
"Why Russians never drive stick shift? They really hate Stalin"
"I wouldn't let you touch me with a 10 foot pole! No seriously, why do you have a 10 foot pole?! THAT'S NOT NORMAL!"