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Joke of the Day

"Therapist: Talk about your friends. Me: Now John at the bar is a friend of mine... T: That's a Billy Joel song. Me: You're no fun."

"What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common? I don't care if she has one."

"Having sex while drunk is like trying to pierce a Capri Sun with an earthworm"

"Trash can and chileans(Geopolitic humour) what is the difference between a trash can and a Chilean? The word"

"CHEF CLOWN Q: How do you know if a chef is a clown? A: The food tastes funny."

"More like ""science UN-fair"" *I walk away in slo-mo. The building explodes with baking soda lava* *I roll a smoke with my 2nd place ribbon"

"I saw Stevie Wonder at the airport, but he didn't see me. *(True story, courtesy of Dad)*"

"Ronda isn't being a poor sport ..she just needs a few months to learn how to talk again"

"I'm like Harvard. Hard to get into, but once you're in, everyone is super impressed."

"""Babe, is it in?"" *""Yea.""* **""Does it hurt?""** *""Uh huh.""* **""Let me put it in slowly.""** *""It still hurts.""* **""Okay, let's try another shoe size.""**"