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Joke of the Day
"The table salt tore a ligament. It was an ACL."
Next Joke
"A little kid came up to me and said... ""I have two mommies."" ""Really?"", I said. ""Your parents are lesbians?"" ""No, my mom's just a schizophrenic."""
"As my mother-in-law and I fight to the death for her son's love, I sometimes think to myself, ""This may be the worst prize ever."""
"You can put Hillary Clinton supporters into two baskets. The basket of adorables, and the basket of deportables."
"Me: Take my pic *hands him camera & giggles* Him: What's funny? Me: Nothing. Him: *presses button, explodes, dies* Me: Ha! Photo bombed!"
"TAYLOR SWIFT: I knew you were trouble when you walked in ME (wearing ski mask and holding up gun): what gave it away?"
"What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work? I missed you"
"Fun fact for you... 5 out of 4 people don't understand ratios..."
"What do you call a wannabe model? A poser!"
"I think I just invented four new yoga poses trying to get a chocolate chip that I dropped under the table."