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Joke of the Day

"The table salt tore a ligament. It was an ACL."

"Sorry I replied ""yikes"" to your selfie."

"Do you know why nobody ever talks about womansplaining? If you don't know why then there is no reason for me to tell you."

"M: Um, you just spelled ""qwerty"" as ""querty"". H: So? M: Look at the keyboard. H: And? M: [Breaking fourth wall look to camera]"

"What's the cheapest form of birth control? Casey Anthony"

"Did you hear about the chickpeas who took a tumble? It was falafel."

"Did you hear about the housing prices in Baltimore? I hear they're a riot!"

"80% of readers won't understand this...and the rest 20% will be condescending. How do you confuse Pareto? Tell him you belong to ""the"" 20%."

"Whenever I get called into my boss's office, my entire Facebook career flashes before my eyes."

"They say that money can't buy you happiness, but being broke buys you nothing..."