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Joke of the Day
"""You're going to poop me."" --Lazy Fortune Cookie"
Next Joke
"What does the earth eat for breakfast? Continental breakfast, served on tectonic plates."
"Can clocks keep secrets? Time will tell."
"Tom Cruise has signed on for Mission Impossible V. His impossible mission is trying not to show up on everyone's gaydar."
"*licks excess icing off mixer & spoon* Wife: Aww, thanks hun! Me: For what? W: Doing my dishes! M: Oh, I didn-- W: ... M: You're welcome."
"Pornhub and Redtube have a meeting and the rest was all history."
"I HAVE A LITTLE MERMAID BAND-AID UNDER MY EYE CAUSE I'M IN A GANG NOW."
"Did you hear about the Mexicans that robbed the train museum? I don't know why they did it but they must have had a pretty 'loco' motive."
"What do you call two Chinese government massacres? Tienanmen squared"
"I told a boy I loved him once. We were 6. He punched my arm & stole my cake. Life lesson. Never lose sight of what's important. #Cake."