187117

Joke of the Day

"When life throws you curveballs, swing at those motherf*ckers like Stevie Wonder with a lightsaber."

"An Emo and a leaf fall from a tree, Who hits the ground first? the leaf, the rope stops the emo"

"What do you call Ralph Nader's alter ego? His alter-nader"

"I used to be a people person, but apparently collecting people in your basement is frowned upon."

"This guy said he was going to hit me with the neck of a guitar.... I said, ""Is that a fret?"""

"A horse walks into a bar And the bar tender says ""why the long face?"" The horse replies ""my wife just died of cancer."""

"You're the Pepsi of people. Some people like you, but they're wrong."

"I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger, and then it hit me."

"What do you name a deaf dog? It doesn't matter, he ain't coming anyways."

"What do you call an aborted baby Spawn Kill"