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Joke of the Day

"I explained to my kids that babies come out the bum because I couldn't draw a very good vagina using crayons and construction paper."

"I hear U.S military bases in the Middle East party hard. The soldiers there are always taking shots."

"Did you hear about those new anti-gravity cars? They really drive me up a wall!"

"what did the man say when he couldn't get frea with his dog? oops, forgot the ky"

"I used to be passive aggressive but now I'm aggressively passive. Don't mess with me, idiot. I'll sit right here. I'll f*cking forgive you."

"[stranded on Mars] me: [journal day 1] I have enough rations for 300 maybe 400 days me: [journal day 2] I am out of rations"

"What did the mathematician do when he was constipated? He worked it out with a pencil..."

"I'm trying my best to give up using sexual innuendos.... But it's SO hard."

"5 beer 2 Fingers A Faizan Walks Into A Bar, Holds up two fingers, and says ''FIVE Beers_Please''"

"The average life insurance policy is $100,000. How much is the policy for a white supremacist? 3k."