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Joke of the Day

"What did the mathematician do when he was constipated? He worked it out with a pencil..."

"For all the bad things that happened this year I sure did get fat."

"What do grapefruit and vaginas have in common? The pinker the better and they're both an acquired taste."

"When it comes to discipline, I think I lack concentration camp."

"Did you know a cat can jump higher than a house? This is due to the fact that cats have very powerful hind legs and that houses can't jump."

"I like the religions where they're like ""god left after he made earth."" that's exactly what I would do if i created this mess."

"Sometimes It's nice just to sit with the person you love. But then it has to get all awkward and her husband is all ""Why you at our table?"""

"Why did Constantinople fall? Itstumbled."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Allah Allah who? Allahu Ackbar! /r/unexpectedjihad"

"""if our love was a tweet, i'd fav, RT and 'gram a screen grab, bae."" - modern vows"