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Joke of the Day

"there is no need for awkward apologies if you walk in on someone and they're naked, just say ""haha saw your doodle"" and walk off. simples"

"Falling in love makes you do stupid things. Once I even got married."

"Confucius say... Man who run in front of car get tired."

"I don't date Left handed chicks cause you know, Lefty loosey Righty tighty."

"Why is Wrestling similar to porn? because it's fun to watch when you're younger... but you get depressed when you're told it's fake."

"Looking to marry a pharmacist. Looks and personality optional. Just don't lose your job."

"[At dinner with wife's friends] Me: may I chime in Wife: I swear to God if you brought your chimes- *my bag dings a little as I unzip it*"

"What do you call a Blonde doing a handstand? NSFW A Brunette with bad breath."

"A physicist sits down at a bar. What does he order? Ein stein"

"Did you hear about the Supreme Court ruling that you can marry a sandwich? Yeah, the BLT community are very excited!"