42952

Joke of the Day

"Why is Wrestling similar to porn? because it's fun to watch when you're younger... but you get depressed when you're told it's fake."

"""my dad could beat up your dad"" we're brothers you idiot *cut to dad stepping on rake, knocking himself out*"

"HEY. Our ancestors didn't eat brunch. They ate rocks. And fought dinosaurs. Ever heard of fire? They INVENTED it. Enjoy your Bloody Mary."

"The more adjectives a coffee order requires, the bigger the asshole."

"The worst thing about Hillary Clinton is she can't dicks out for Harambe even if she wanted to. Even Michelle can do that."

"What would you get if you crossed a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite !"

"Women love to say ""sexy AF"" or ""hot AF"" on Twitter .... If I'd known being in the Air Force was that hot...I'd have stayed in !"

"My psychiatrist told me I need to love myself more. I was like, ""damn doc I'm already up to 3 times a day"""

"What do you call a ghost who had a sex change? TRANSparent"

"The way I pronounced ""prix fixe"" should be enough for you to figure out that I can't afford to eat here."