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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?"
Next Joke
"These people act like they've never seen a woman eat a whole rotisserie chicken before."
"ME: *sighs* yep, story of my life EDITOR: please stop saying that every time you hand me a draft of your autobiography"
"What's the difference between a man biking to a job interview and a clown on a unicycle? Attire."
"What do you get if you cross a dead Israeli leader with a New Age diet nut? Menachem Vegan"
"I made a belt, entirely composed of watches It was a waist of time"
"How does a hipster measure out his drugs? Using instagrams."
"What do you call an Italian who has sex with kids? PASTA"
"It's 100% legal to murder a kid who gets in the elevator and pushes all of the buttons."
"Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ? A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !"