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Joke of the Day

"If you're a monkey, your shit's always bananas."

"My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate."

"You can't sugar coat the truth with fat people... Or they'd probably eat that too."

"What's the easiest way to get a little head? The Zika virus."

"Movie idea: A drunk passes out next to Picasso. He wakes up to find a drawing of a dick on his face worth $1 million. Does he wash it off?"

"My friend is convinced he has the biggest balls in the world He's so egotestical."

"Two boys were arrested... Two boys were arrested -- one was drinking battery acid, and one was eating fireworks. The authorities charged one and let one off."

"A terrorist Walks into a Pet store A terrorist walks into a pet store and shouts ""Run away you only have 10 seconds before I blow this place up!"" ""You Bastard!"" The Turtle says"

"What do you call a cross between a donkey and an onion? A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye"

"What did the priest get at Toys R Us? An erection."