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Joke of the Day

"If you're starting a sentence with ""not to sound like a bitch,"" guess what you're going to sound like."

"What's the hardest part about walking through a field of dead babies? My Dick."

"These people are screaming like they've never seen pompoms on an axe before."

"Never try to kill a termite with a napkin. It'll only get bigger."

"""Dad!"" my shit says, right before I flush it."

"I met a guy who cross-bred insects... ...he was alright at first, but I soon tired of his ant-ticks."

"I'll never reveal my secrets. Alcohol: Lol."

"My friend took my mood ring without my permission. I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"Damn girl, are you a math book? Girl:No, why? Because you've got so many problems."

"Note down the number please. A person was riding on a horse, He Jumped the red light, a cop whistles' person lifts the tail of horse and says, ""Note down the number please."""