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Joke of the Day

"Instead of saying you lost your eyesight due to an explosion while you were making meth, just tell people that you were blinded by science."

"Now you can handle those nasty cuts from the comfort of your home... ... with ""Suture Self""."

"What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair."

"I need ""Block"" Jokes I blocked my friend really hard in a volleyball game on the weekend and I need some block puns. Thanks!"

"What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time..."

"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."

"A boy asks his father The difference between up and down. His Father says 'You don't have up syndrome'."

"Can anyone tell me.... If I posted the joke about Alzheimers? I can't remember if I did."

"Told my GF: ""We haven't had sex for almost a month."" She replied: ""Speak for yourself."""

"What is impotence? Impotence is when your mind starts to be a dick and your dick is philosophising."