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Joke of the Day

"I met two guys named Otto and Manuel at a party... ...Manuel made me do all the talking but Otto wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise!"

"Did the girl ever go to the whore Olympics? Nah, she couldn't be fucked."

"FULLY LOADED Q: What did the mommy bullet say to the daddy bullet? A: ""We're gonna have a BB!"""

"If someone stands you up and doesn't call, stay positive. They could be dead."

"TIL 6.7 billion people are the minority By arrogant ignorant Americans."

"What does a haunted hamburger say? MooooOOOoooOoo"

"Boss: Where'd you go?? Me: I got all the way up front and realized I forgot my pen. Boss: Okay? Me: So I went to lunch."

"To all the Republicans who might be mad if Trump loses... remember.... Hiter wasn't elected either! jk Trump2016!"

"Hey symphonies, play the main part we like more."

"Did you hear about the serial killer who was coming out of retirement? He's taking another stab at it."