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Joke of the Day

"Black Friday at the geology museum was great! There were so many great shales!"

"Love is a can of soda. Open it up too fast & it explodes all over you. Take too long, it goes flat. But no matter what you should recycle."

"Here's one for the photographers of reddit Why was the photo of a wheat field rejected from Alamy? A=It had too much grain"

"When you go to buy fire insurance for your house, don't tell them you need it by a certain date."

"The most attractive thing about you is your gravity."

"Ever hear about the worst international trade deal ever? It was tarifful..."

"There are 10 types of people in this world... Those who understand ternary, those who don't, and those who think it's binary."

"Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his driveway? Because he was snowed in."

"I went out for a vindaloo last night and my arse is really sore today I can't believe some of the things I do for a free curry."

"If ISIS were a Pokemon, which would they be? Voltorb; they're always using self destruct"