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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a man with 6,022 x 10^23 dollars? A Moleionaire"

"Scaring the postman I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I know where he lives."

"Every time my dentist is kind enough to tell me I need to floss, I am kind enough to tell him that he needs to trim his nostril hairs."

"The Ugly Hag by Ida Face"

"Her: are you single? [flashback to 2011 where I tried to kiss a girl but she turned away and I kissed her cheek] Me: haha idk"

"All these phone companies advertising for ""More lines, more savings!"" But when I do more lines my savings go to shit."

"Hey, strippers named ""Elantra"". It's too late to grow some self respect but at least read Car and Driver before picking a name."

"What do you call a Hawaiian homosexual? A tropical fruit."

"I have fond memories of the sausage factory. It was the best of times, it was the wurst of times."

"Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled.I laughed at the irony.Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it."