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Joke of the Day

"Her: are you single? [flashback to 2011 where I tried to kiss a girl but she turned away and I kissed her cheek] Me: haha idk"

"Whats the difference between a steak, an egg, and a blow job? You can beat your meat and beat an egg, but you sure cant beat a blow job"

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a buck ninety-nine, but deer nuts are always under a buck"

"Me: [walks up to boss] *SLAP* Boss: WTH?! Me: It's Natl Bully Month Boss: No, it's Natl Bully PREVENTION Month! Me: well this is awkward"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because the 7 didn't fucking bend."

"Why do Chinese workers work so hard? Because their companies are always short-staffed."

"What's white on the outside and black on the inside? An American police officer."

"What is feared by jailbirds and splits light into different colors? Prism rape."

"I like my women the same way I like my coffee. Made by my mum."

"Dear Tech Support, I twied to puth my tongue in tha USthB port again. Canth you helpf?"