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Joke of the Day

"Hey, strippers named ""Elantra"". It's too late to grow some self respect but at least read Car and Driver before picking a name."

"The whole ""limiting myself to one glass of wine a day"" thing is going really great. I'm like 5 years ahead of schedule."

"Why are suicide kits so hard to sell on Amazon? They never have positive reviews."

"What's the pirate's least favorite letter? Dear sir, We are writing to you because you have violated copyright..."

"I forgot to take my wallet out of my pants in the washer. I have committed money laundering."

"What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas? ...Baaaaaahumbug"

"Why don't blind people bungee jump? It scares the shit out of the dogs"

"Putting my Christmas decorations on the house across the street so I can, you know, see them."

"[NSFW] Bill Cosby at a bar When you add rookies to a cosmopolitan it becomes a cosbypolitan"

"Have you heard about the corduroy pillows? They're making head lines."