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Joke of the Day

"How do you know if your wife is dead? The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up."

"Why do infants wake up crying as if they are the ones who have to go out and work!?"

"The student asked his sensei: ""Why do you fight using only your feet?"" Oh, y'know. For kicks."

"Hi reddit, I'm a Japanese pearl diver! AMA."

"""I don't want a lot for Christmas."" Later... ""All I want for Christmas is you."" EXACTLY WHAT DOES THAT DO FOR MY SELF-CONFIDENCE, MARIAH."

"What did the 8 say to the 0? Hey, fatty"

"Why does the mushroom always get invited to the party? Because he was a fungi"

"""What is the difference between a burger and a blow job?"" "" I don't know, what is the difference between a burger and a blow job?"" ""Let's go to lunch!"""

"world's funniest joke: Liverpool FC winning the barclays premier league"

"What does Santa say when he is sick? OH OH NO!"