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Joke of the Day

"When someone walks next to me at the same speed I want to grab their hand and start skipping"

"if i ever spontaneously combust, i hope it's around somebody i don't like and that they're wearing their favorite outfit."

"What do these owners think when choosing music for their stores restroom? ""oh yeah people like to listen to this when they're taking a shit"""

"How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs? None. He ""fell""."

"What happens when libertarians and honey badgers don't give a shit together? An ex-lax shortage"

"There's been a toothpaste scandal. The press have called it Col-Gate."

"How is college like a woman? It takes forever to get in, and nine months later you wish you hadn't come."

"[NSFW] I always create female characters in third person shooter games Because if I am spending hours looking at someone else's back that should be a female."

"Why do Texans duel at high noon? They distrust clocks."

"What hand do you wipe with? Answer: left or right Response: why not use toilet paper?"