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Joke of the Day

"My wife is a sex object I ask for sex, she objects"

"What's the difference between Jesus & a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture."

"So this baby seal walks into a club ..."

"Review of ""grandma"": slow, slow-witted, terrified of technology, can't bench for shit, no karate, basically racist "

"How come the NSA whistleblower can't leave Russia? Because he is snowed in."

"You don't need to tell me that I'm not your cup of tea. I am well aware that I'm not a cup of tea, idiot."

"I identified a body yesterday. ""That's a body!"" I said."

"Please Turn Off The Computer Dad's writes on son's facebook wall: Dear Son, how are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please turn off the computer and come down for dinner."

"Slow and steady wins the race, unless it's one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed."

"So a blind girl was giving me a hand job last night... She said I was the biggest she's ever felt, I said ""Nah girl, you're just pulling my leg."""