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Joke of the Day

"How come the NSA whistleblower can't leave Russia? Because he is snowed in."

"What do you do with an elephant with three balls? You walk him and pitch to the Rhino. - *One of the many jokes I remember from Hot Shots.*"

"Girl, if you were a dinosaur, you'd be a Gorgeousaurus"

"Why is Oklahoma so windy? Because Texas sucks and Kansas blows!"

"What do you call someone who hates cold weather? A southerner"

"A pirate walks into a bar... With his ship's steering wheel on his dick. The bartender asks, ""Whats with the wheel on your john?"" the pirate replied, ""Arrg it's driving me nuts!"""

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool..."

"How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Can't be done, it's a hardware problem."

"I knew a fat doctor once, who was obsessed with the weather. He was a meaty urologist."

"I'm gonna hang a Batman costume in my closet just to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer's."