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Joke of the Day

"3 great things about getting old and losing your memory 1. You're always making new friends. 2. Every joke you hear is new. 3. I uh, I forget the third one."

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"It's all fun and games until your iPhone is at 10% power"
"Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting."
"I SAW ON THE NEWS THAT SOME GUY IN ANOTHER STATE DIED ARE YOU OKAY - my mom"
"I don't get you Vegans. If cows didn't want to be eaten, they'd move faster."
"What's the difference between a tropical beach and a priest? One gets sun on your skin and the other gets skin on your son."
"Paddy and Michael are out walking when Paddy falls down a well.... Michael shouts down ""Paddy! have you broken anything???"" Paddy replies ""No! there's nothing down here to break!"""
"DYK Mozart never suffered from stress He always kept his composer."
"Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside."
"I wore my golf socks today There's a hole in one"