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Joke of the Day
"Siri, assemble a list of people who are dead to me."
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"Two blondes at the movie:"" Pst, the guy next to me is masturbating!""says one ""just ignore him"" answers her friend. ""But I can't ! He's using my hand!""replies the first blonde"
"If the opposite of con is pro... ...the opposite of constitution has to be prostitution."
"The amount of people who confuse ""to"" and ""too"" is amazing two me."
"I went to a poltical one handed-people-demonstration ... and it was horrible, about 50% of them had no rights!"
"Why is a bra singular and panties plural?"
"My girlfriend was commenting on my big feet... I said, ""Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet..."" She replied, ""You're gonna be disappointed!"" [true story]"
"Next year is going to be an odd one. credit goes to my dad."
"I'm not stalking you but I have managed to trace your family tree back to 1724"
"Kinky = using a feather. Perverted = using the whole chicken."