186144

Joke of the Day

"Procrastination Paradox... If you come in last in a procrastination contest because you procrastinated, does that make you the best or worst at procrastinating...???"

"Apparently there's this Pokemon character that's a pile of garbage with a face so now I'm famous I guess."

"Are Smurfs just a bunch of midget Avatars? #yeahimhigh"

"My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it We went and had drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web developer"

"It should be illegal to play a police siren on the radio. Signed, my pants."

"My marriage counselor told me that I suffer from premature ejaculation... I said...""I don't suffer."""

"Kim Davis says war has been declared on traditional marriage. Still unclear is which of her four marriages is under attack."

"If farmer A sells apples and farmer B sells bananas, what does farmer C sell? Medicine."

"(I heard this one a while back, sorry) Why can't you use a the restroom at a Beatles reunion concert? Because there is no John."

"I like my coffee like my women... Piping hot and all over my lap in the McDonald's drive thru (backs away very slowly, opens door without turning around, lurks out...)"