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Joke of the Day
"""We are out of oranges"" he said, fruitlessly."
Next Joke
"What operating system does Varys have on his computer? Unix"
"Whats the difference between a feminist and a hockey player hockey player showers after 3 periods"
"What did the doctor say to the cancer patient? You have tumor months to live."
"One time I got stuck holding a Starbucks door open from 2005-2007."
"How many forever alone guys does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he wishes it was two."
"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a voluptuous lobster? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean. :D edit: funnier when said aloud"
"Professor: Today's exam is written. Next week we will do oral Class in unison: I HAVE A BOYFRIEND"
"Doing word problems as a kid as helped me in adulthood. ""Dan doesn't have enough money for his bills, how long before he is homeless?"""
"Friend: Don't come on too strong is my dating tip. [At the restaurant] Her: Can you pass the salt, please? Me: Sorry, it's too heavy."