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Joke of the Day

"I think money attracts the females you want, struggle attracts the woman you need."

"Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering A Minor."

"If Oscar De La Toya Jackson isn't the best drag queen name ever, I don't know what I'm doing in these heels and boxing gloves anymore."

"When I wss a kid I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts For eating a Brownie."

"What's the difference between a truck full of marbles and a truck full of babies? You can't unload a truck full of marbles with a pitchfork."

"Damn girl are you Schrodinger's cat cos you're in a box and all these nerds are talking about you? Sir have some respect this is a funeral."

"Why did the cold war last so long? The US couldn't stop Stalin."

"Just found out a spider's been living in my shower. Just hanging out. Quietly. Watching me. So, long story short, I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND!"

"Rosetta Stone is the fastest way to learn how to pronounce the names of Ikea products."

"What does Iraq and Bristol Palin have in common? Both of them are hard to pull out of."