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Joke of the Day

"How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be open when she brings it to you."

"What do dogs have that no other animal has ? Puppy dogs !"

"My sister bet me I couldn't make a czar out of spaghetti... Boy was she surprised when I introduced her to [Ditalini of Pereslav](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dmitry_of_Pereslavl)!"

"-Does it have apples in it? -No. -What about pine? -No pine either. -Perfect, we'll call it a pineapple."

"Tomorrow France plays Germany... Their defense will try to last 90 minutes and beat their World War 2 record..."

"I need a bed that pops me out like a toaster."

"What did Eminem say when 50cent gave him a sweater? Gee, you knit?"

"My ex-girlfriend told me nothing shocks her anymore so I switched her digital scale from Lbs to Kg."

"Like boxes of shit in your house? Get a cat."

"What is the difference between a laddie and a lady? One has a d where the other doesn't."