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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] My wife and I kept on arguing about who should be on top of whom during sex. Now I'm not saying I won, but I came out on top"

"With my 4 year old granddaughter: What's a cat's favorite pasta? Mousearoni"

"My Grandpa said,... ""Your generation relies too much on technology!"" I replied, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology!"" Then I unplugged his life support."

"Have you heard about President Clinton's plan to secretly bomb eastern Ukraine? He called it the ""Donetsk, Don't Tell"""

"I thought for my whole life that air was free... ...then I bought a bag of chips."

"I was going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind."

"I got a letter from my sister. She just had a baby. But she didn't say whether it's a boy or girl. So I don't know if I'm an uncle or an aunt."

"What's the difference between Victoria Taylor and Arnold Schwarzenegger? One was fired, the other was terminated"

"Gregor Mendel's wife asks him why he is always working so much. He says: Bitch, peas"

"What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can go to a store without robbin'."