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Joke of the Day

"""We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."" - A man who owned other men."

"How does every black joke start? By looking over your shoulder."

"Don't ask me for directions I got lost on an elevator once."

"I got really bad sunburn after falling asleep on my stomach at the beach... I wanted emergency medical attention but 911 never returned my call. I guess they put it on the back burner."

"Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday"

"I signed up for some Meteorology courses. MET 104 Standing in Deep Water MET 105 Standing in Heavy Rain MET 106 Acting Amazed"

"*turns on notifications* Notifications: I have a boyfriend"

"GF (from 2nd floor window): either the trampoline goes or I go! ME: It ... was ... nice ... knowing ... you"

"Why was the meeting for impotent men cancelled? They knew no one would come."

"face down ass up that's the way I like to contemplate the fragility of my existence"