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Joke of the Day

"Why was the meeting for impotent men cancelled? They knew no one would come."

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"I'm in Southern Texas ... ... and it's so hot here, the trees are fighting over the dogs."
"What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic? ANKH ANKH!!"
"What does a witch do if her broom is stolen ? She calls the flying squad !"
"I run a support group for sex addicts They're all in the other room sitting in a circle... OH MY GOD"
"Have you seen the new ticket prices for Alton Towers? Admission now costs an arm and a leg!"
"So I was told that torture is 100% effective. They finally admitted to it after 5 hours of waterboarding. I still don't know why they kept lying before it though."
"What did the pirate say to the flying prostitute? Land ho!"
"Guarantees in life: 1) death 2) taxes 3) me pulling the handle of your car door at the same moment you try to unlock it"
"My wife is like a new credit card. 0% interest for 12 months."