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Joke of the Day
"Do you know why cannibals won't eat clowns? Because they taste *Funny*"
Next Joke
"[job interview] Him: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm very independent. Him: ... Me: ... Him: ... Me: Tell him, Mom. Mom: He is!"
"What is matthew mcconaughey' least favorite part of interstellar? ""The girls get older, but he stays the same age"" -first attempt at a original joke (apologies if its a repost that I'm unaware of)"
"What is a monster's favourite drink? Demonade."
"I was thinking about Billy Mays the other day... I decided he's in heaven partying like it's nineteen ninety-nine ^(plus shipping and handling.)"
"I'd like to give a shout out to those people born in 1932 who are celebrating their 21st birthday today!"
"If two vegans have an argument... is it still considered beef?"
"How is your job and your wife different? I don't mind telling work the other jobs I've done"
"I get so angry when I see nudity on Reddit... so I have to shake my fist"
"Every time my dentist is kind enough to tell me I need to floss, I am kind enough to tell him that he needs to trim his nostril hairs."