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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotopuss"

"Where did Czechslovakia split up? At the Czech-out line."

"What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters? This is non-cents!"

"What happens when you give a cow marijuana? The ""steaks"" get higher"

"What's the Syrian girl doing on the swing? Pissing off the sniper"

"We're all born with scars. from the moment we open our eyes and look at the world we are wounded, we all share that same mark... Bellybuttons."

"[3 days into dieting] *sees ad for burger & fries* *drowns in his own saliva*"

"I wanted to date a girl once... but as a server admin I couldn't come out of my shell."

"How do chemists get high? they drop acid of course"

"I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco."