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Joke of the Day

"Teenage Jesus: Hey dad, why you wearing that crucifix? God: It's an idea I have for a public holiday. TJ: Huh? G: It's complicated."

"In a stunning display of maturity, Kid Rock announces he is changing his name to Adult Contemporary."

"'Vegetarians' don't eat meat. 'Vegans' also don't eat eggs, milk or cheese. The final step is to just stand there +pretend to be a tree."

"The list of things I hate the most is -Hate -Lists -Irony -Cheap jokes stolen from the internet -Irony -Repetition -Did I mention irony?"

"What is the fastest animal in the world? The Ethiopian chicken."

"What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married."

"At the store & asked for 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around & looked them in the eyes and said, ""Make it 52"""

"What did Obama say to his depressed painter? It's going to be all white."

"Yesterday I raped a deaf-mute girl... ...I ve broken her arms so she couldn t tell anyone."

"What do you call a mathematician who drinks too much? A functioning alcoholic."