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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Doctor Who and Facebook? When the Doctor changes the timeline, it's usually for a good reason."

"Water is the most precious drink Because without it we can't make coffee"

"Trump is opting not to have celebrities at his inauguration in the same way that I opted not to take any cheerleaders to prom."

"Instead of going to couples therapy, married people should just join Tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with"

"What's a peasant's favorite sport? Serfing."

"I've lost 10 pounds! Well, I subtracted five for PMS. That Q-Tip I was holding must be at least a pound. Plus my hair was wet. Go, me!"

"In honor of To Set A Watchmen coming out soon, what would Harper Lee's book be called if she was Mexican? Tequila Mockingbird."

"I remember as a child lying in bed and waiting for Santa Claus to come. And how afterwards it would be so silent and awkward as he got dressed to leave."

"Cannibals are so full of themselves and other people"

"I used to have a desk with great selfie lighting and then I changed jobs for personal fulfilment. I wouldn't recommend it."