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Joke of the Day

"I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. Because then I would know she is capable of making decisions she will regret in the future."

"A feminist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... and I only know this because they won't shut the fuck up about it."

"Knock, Knock! Who's There? Alzheimer's! Alzheimer's who? Knock, Knock!"

"what's the difference between a black person and a snow tire? ones a person and the other is a tire.... you racist."

"I just sent my first e-mail. Kongratulations!"

"I sat down beside this guy in a diner, every time he went to take a bite of his sandwich I'd say nomnomnom. He left. Making friends is hard."

"Me and my new girlfriend are both scientists, archaeologists to be exact... .. we're carbon, dating."

"Another tasteless joke about Alzheimer's? Forget it."

"I'm sitting here watching this married couple argue in this restaurant. Then their 8 year old says ""oh great, dinner and a show."" Priceless."

"TIFU by eating my coworkers sandwich Oops, wrong sub"