185479

Joke of the Day

"HAPPY EARTH DAY! Suck it, Neptune."

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? It is really easy to roast beef."

"When the imaginary zebras start sawing off your legs, it's time to lay off the hard stuff."

"Did you know diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans."

"What did the constipated mathematician do? He worked his problems out with a pencil and paper."

"Want to Hulu and chill? There's like 90 seconds of ads so you won't miss any of the show."

"Could not decide how much lettuce to buy, until I got a second opinion two heads are better than one."

"All this month when a waitress asks me how I'd like my eggs, I'll tell her to nog that shit."

"Why does a blonde lay on the floor while shopping? To look for the lowest prices."

"What do you tell a man with two black eyes? Nothing, he's been told twice already. (And be cool, if you get the reference keep quiet and let em wonder.)"